The Ghost of New Year’s Past
27 Dec '17
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The Ghost of New Year’s Past

As Ebenezer Slob went to bed on New Year’s Eve, his restless sleep was disturbed as he was awoken by a visit from the ghost of an old family friend, Jacob Lazybones, who had passed away seven years ago. The joke in the family was that Jacob had dug his own grave with a knife and fork because he literally ate his way to an early heart attack and subsequent death.

Years and years ago, Ebenezer and Jacob would sit and laugh at those silly people who made New Year’s Resolutions and laughed even harder at those who kept at it in order to get themselves in shape. Their mantra was, “you’ve got to die sometime so you might as well enjoy the journey!” and enjoy it they did.

“Get your bones out of bed,” exclaimed the ghost. Ebenezer jumped to his feet and quickly grabbed his leg as a muscle spasm took hold. “Ebenezer, you barely gave Bob Workout 30 minutes to get to his gym for his daily workout!” exclaimed the ghost… “and at the holidays no less!”

Ebenezer quickly responded, “Bob is a gym rat!” “He didn’t need to work out on Christmas Eve and he certainly doesn’t need to work out for New Year’s!” The friends quickly passed from their normal combative banter onto things of greater importance. Jacob explained that unless Ebenezer wanted to join him soon, he was going to have to get more serious about developing a regular exercise program.

As the cobwebs cleared from Ebenezer’s eyes, he realized that it must have all been a dream. As he reluctantly laid his head back down on his pillow, he was startled by another ghost. He didn’t recognize it but this one said that he was the Ghost of New Year’s Past.

“Ebenezer, your New Year’s parties are just a microcosm of your life in general…everything is just a big party to you!” exclaimed the ghost. “You just want to party all the time and to hell with the consequences.” “Unless you want to end up like your friend Jacob, you need to take the start of a new year seriously and think about the quality of your life.”

Ebenezer rubbed his eyes and said, “I have thought about getting serious about my health but that all seems like too much work.” “I certainly don’t want to waste my hard-earned money on some exercise machine just to regret it months or years later.”

The Ghost of New Year’s Past reminded him that he didn’t have to spend thousands of dollars to start but rather start with something simple like climbing the stairs a few times and then building up over time until he needed a machine and then he would have a habit that would lend itself to regular use of a machine.

It was an ah-ha moment for Ebenezer Slob and for once, he had hope that he might be able to get this done.

…next week, the Ghost of New Year’s Present.

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